Things I am afraid of, Number 10

So, I figured in the unlikely event that I fall in a vat of radioactive goo and gain superpowers (hopefully not goo based powers, that would be lame) I should start preparing for my eventual superherodom. To that end I will be taking the time out to talk about my top ten greatest fears. I figure, Supervillains have it hard enough already, what with constantly being harassed by weirdos in tights, I might as well throw them a bone and get them moving along the right track. So lets start things off with number:

Freddy Mercury

Let me be clear here, I love the music of Queen. Killer Queen, Bicycle Race, Fat Bottomed Girls, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, even a little I Want to Break Free from time to time. But Freddy Mercury needs to stay the hell away from me. That guy just creeps me out, and I don't know why. I keep having this nightmare where I am a kid and I am convinced there is a monster in my closet, and when I finally work up the courage to go check, there is no monster, just Freddy Mercury, and he is just standing there, smiling at me. I don't know why I find him creepy, maybe it's the mustache.