Nature blows

I read an article the other day, dealing with the fact that Bee populations are down in the US and certain other North American areas. According to the article studies seemed to show that wireless electronic signals were interfering with bee's and certain small bird's ability to navigate. Apparently Bees and some Birds can detect electromagnet and magnetic fields and used the earths natural magnetic fields to navigate but our cell phones and electronic devices are interfering with that ability leaving them lost and confused.

Well shit.

Just another way mankind is killing nature. We are melting the polar icecaps, overfishing the seas, destroying natural habitats, mowing down the rain forrest. We do all of this for one thing: Progress. Our technological advancement is coming at the cost of nature. Every new technology that hits the streets comes at the cost of the natural world. Ultimately we are going to have to decide which is more important to us: Technology, or nature?


In an impromptu street survery I was pleased to see that the majority (72.3%) of survey takers chose to side with technology over nature. The results may have been slightly skewed due to the fact that the survey was conducted in front of the East Valley Institute of Technology. Ultimately though I don't care what anybody who sides with nature thinks. Screw nature, we can imitate nature with technology these days, they are even starting to grow fake meat in vats. How cool is that? Fake trees, robot animals, atmospheric processors: technology can do it all. Nature is going down.

The Steak Van

So, everybody remembers being a kid and rolling out to the joyful sound of that simple tune that signified the coming of the Ice Cream Truck. Sweet delicious and cold, the Ice Cream Truck was a vendor of summertime happiness.

As an adult now I am left wondering why I can't get that same sense of simple satisfaction from a dispenser of delicious treats, why can't a simple song fill me with such joy and anticipation that I want to run screaming to my mother demanding money.

Well, why can't I? Simple, I don't like Ice Cream like I used to. Oh, I still like Ice Cream, but not enough to go running for treats from a mobile conveyor of overpriced frozen products. This is where the Epiphany hits, what has replaced Ice Cream in my adult life? What treat is as appealing to my adult sensibilities as Ice Cream was to my childhood insanity?

Steak.

And that is how I am going to make my fortune. I present to you, the Steak Van:

This hot little number will feature multiple grills and broilers in the back, all constantly cooking steaks of various varieties and flavors. They'll all line up, not the kids of course, adults, they'll all line up wanting a taste of that sweet sweet steaky goodness, because when that tune starts playing, mouths start watering, and they'll all come a runnin for some of that sweet delicious Steak Van Steak. It'll be awesome.

Of course, the big issue is really the music. Everybody knows the Ice Cream Truck song, and the Steak Van will need an equally distinct tune. I was thinking something metal. If I had to equate a musical style with Steak, it would most likely be Metal. Probably get Slash or somebody to write a custom Steak Tune for me......

So yah, keep your ears on for the Steak Van, coming to a neighborhood near you. Not to be confused with the Bar-B-Que bus, which is equally awesome, but hands out Bar-B-Que ribs wrapped in tin foil Via a Rib cannon mounted on the top, people just call the Rib line with their credit card number and a bus is dispatched immediately.

Cartoon Pitch #1

The premise: An out of work Lumberjack and an obsolete robot are forced to get an apartment together in the city, and wacky hi jinks ensue. Sounds like comic gold right? Well, here is the real kicker: The robot is a Logging Robot that replaced the Lumberjack, and the Lumberjack invented synthetic wood so the robot was no longer needed.

The two incompatible personalities clash as the Lumberjack teaches the robot what it means to truly be alive, and the robot teaches the lumberjack how much more practical cold unfeeling logic is, and each episode they learn another of life's lessons all during their never ending quest to find work and friendship, never realising that their truest friend was right under their nose the whole time.

Seriously, this show practically writes itself. Watch for it, someday soon it will be coming to a television set near you!

Why I shouldn't be allowed near the internet.

All right, I confess, I am one of those people who shouldn't be allowed near the internet. Why? Simple, when I am, things like this happen:

Your probably saying to yourself, "My god Potter, that is the most awesome thing I have ever seen, how did you ever come up with it." Well, I'll tell you. For years I have been joking about how awesome a Hello Kitty MMO would be, I even went so far as to fake screenshots of such a game, and claim it was using a modified unreal engine (imagine Hello Kitty running around with giant Scifi cannons, it was awesome). Then bam, somebody actually goes and makes a Hello Kitty MMO. Unfortunately this has stolen some of my thunder, and thus I am vexed. Eventually this MMO did come up in conversation, and ultimately I had to take my outrageousness to new heights, so I proclaimed Hello Kitty Online the fabled "WoW Killer". Of course, couple this with my constantly comparing MMOs to a form of Cyber Vamperism, the fact that Keroppi is made by the same people who make Hello Kitty, the only reference I remember from my childhood to Keroppi is the title: Keroppi Day Hopper, and the fact that Blade is a Vampire killer known as the day walker, and well, do I have to spell this out for you? Hmmm.... I guess it is a little to late for that.


At this point though, I am quite enamoured with my Keroppi: The Day Hopper, and with the utterly bizzare announcement that Hello Kitty Online intends to cater to the WoW crowd by including monster hunting, you might just run into a black clad Monster Hunter Frog in Hello Kitty Online.....