Entry #3 in my explanation of why I can't get a job highlights perfectly what is wrong with the current business world. They all want advertising that speaks to the youth of America, but make no effort to understand that market.
Ok, so the company is a flavoured oatmeal company called Oatmeal Pronto. What they need: An ad that speaks to the youth of America. Holy crap! This was it, if I could sell oatmeal to kids, I was set, I mean, what the hell kind of kid eats oatmeal? Who wouldn't hire me, people would be all like, hey, that's that guy that got all the kids of America eating oatmeal. I had a hard road ahead of me. So, I sat down and considered everything I know about kids:
1: Kids do whatever cartoon characters tell them
2: Kids love drugs
3: Kids are all little bastards
4: Kids hate clingy shit
5: Given the chance kids will kill their parents and institute a pseudo religion following the teachings of he who walks behind the rows.
Didn't get the job. Apparently "tastes cling free" doesn't make sense. And implying kids like crack is not PC. My recommendation to change the name from Oatmeal Pronto to Crack-Ho oatmeal (to better reach the kids of course) was considered insulting and degrading. On the upside my artwork was said to be one step above kindergarten level. Go me.
Ok, so the company is a flavoured oatmeal company called Oatmeal Pronto. What they need: An ad that speaks to the youth of America. Holy crap! This was it, if I could sell oatmeal to kids, I was set, I mean, what the hell kind of kid eats oatmeal? Who wouldn't hire me, people would be all like, hey, that's that guy that got all the kids of America eating oatmeal. I had a hard road ahead of me. So, I sat down and considered everything I know about kids:
1: Kids do whatever cartoon characters tell them
2: Kids love drugs
3: Kids are all little bastards
4: Kids hate clingy shit
5: Given the chance kids will kill their parents and institute a pseudo religion following the teachings of he who walks behind the rows.
I gathered all my thoughts, began working and within a half hour had assembled a masterpiece of advertising:
Didn't get the job. Apparently "tastes cling free" doesn't make sense. And implying kids like crack is not PC. My recommendation to change the name from Oatmeal Pronto to Crack-Ho oatmeal (to better reach the kids of course) was considered insulting and degrading. On the upside my artwork was said to be one step above kindergarten level. Go me.
1 comment:
I didn't know the blockheads from Gumby liked oatmeal. It must be made from Gumby and his pony Pokey. Hmm. The artwork looks like a team of designers were given a budget of $100 and this was the best they could do.
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