For some reason they don't let me make signs at work....

How the Civil War really went

I think the only way this picture could get more awesome is if Cthulhu was riding that dinosaur. I like to consider myself a pretty creative guy, but honestly, I don't think anything even remotely this awesome ever crossed my mind.

Things I am afraid of, Number 10

So, I figured in the unlikely event that I fall in a vat of radioactive goo and gain superpowers (hopefully not goo based powers, that would be lame) I should start preparing for my eventual superherodom. To that end I will be taking the time out to talk about my top ten greatest fears. I figure, Supervillains have it hard enough already, what with constantly being harassed by weirdos in tights, I might as well throw them a bone and get them moving along the right track. So lets start things off with number:

Freddy Mercury

Let me be clear here, I love the music of Queen. Killer Queen, Bicycle Race, Fat Bottomed Girls, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, even a little I Want to Break Free from time to time. But Freddy Mercury needs to stay the hell away from me. That guy just creeps me out, and I don't know why. I keep having this nightmare where I am a kid and I am convinced there is a monster in my closet, and when I finally work up the courage to go check, there is no monster, just Freddy Mercury, and he is just standing there, smiling at me. I don't know why I find him creepy, maybe it's the mustache.

This is the Worst Job Ever!

You know what bugs me? People who hate their job, and only make minimum wage.

Why does this bug me? Because, you make seven dollars an hour, if you hate your job so much, spend a weekend and shop around, you got a pulse? Shouldn't be too hard to get a new job. What's that? You don't want another low paying job that is unfullfilling and completely without reward. Too bad. At some point you are going to have to accept we live in a fucked up world where nothing is perfect. Sometimes you just gotta take what comes, focus on the good, and work through the bad. Everybody looks at those lucky few who have gobs of money and scream about how horrible it is that so few people control so much of the wealth. These people control the wealth for a reason, because they or their ancestors had the foresight and the strength of will to sease it, and now you are left out in the cold begging for scraps.

It doesn't have to be this way. If you are truly so downtrodden, if those around you suffer so greatly, there is a way to change things. Rise up and take what is so wrongly withheld. Take control of the world around you.

The problem is we are all afraid. Fear rules our lives, even those who have so little are still afraid of losing. They go home and despite how unhappy they are, despite how far they are from where they wanted to be, they cling to that little piece of civilization alloted to them, and dream of more. My brothers, Don't dream it, be it! So you have nothing; so your life is an eternity from where you want to be; so every hope and dream you have ever had has been ground to dirt; take that dirt and sling it right into the eyes of those who oppress you. So stop complaining, stop wallowing in your filth, you may be in the gutter, but that doesn't mean you can't reach for the stars!

Just thought you should know

I'm sorry, I don't watch TV.

Here is the thing, I don't watch TV. I own a TV, but the only thing it is hooked up to is the X-box I don't play. So no, I won't get that pithy reference to Desperate Housewives you just made, and no, the comment I am making has nothing to do with last nights reality TV show crapfest. It isn't that TV is bad, or that TV is bad for you, I am not one of those people who goes about extolling the evils of TV, TV isn't evil, it just is. Unfortunately, I find the vast majority of crap on TV is just that, crap. It isn't that it is unoriginal, nothing is really original anymore, it is just that I don't find most of it terribly entertaining. Sure it works for some, but not for me. That doesn't mean that I have abandoned the half to hour long serial as a medium, what it does mean is that I am no longer a slave to the oppressive vacuum tubes of the tyrannical broadcasting machine. I prefer to take in my shows on my terms, and fortunately the entertainment industry is finally getting on the bandwagon and throwing their creations on the Internet.

Now I can watch the shows I want, and only the shows I want, when I want, and how I want. Its great. For once the world seems to be changing in favor of the consumer, rather than against them.

Minesweeper

Masochists minesweeper.

Happy Holidays!

Well, just to get into the Christmas spirit, its the Robot and Lumberjack Christmas Special! Because my humor tends to be a little off track, if you need an explanation of the above image: It is Christmas time and the lumberjack has gotten the robot a box of Rust-Oleum for Christmas, which I would imagine a robot would find rather insulting. And hi jinks ensue!

New Years Resolution

So, I have decided, that as of today, all of my work related E-mails will consist of nothing but palindromes. Oh sure, my E-mails may start making considerably less sense, and my turnaround time on them will probably suffer, but dammit, I'm mad!

I'm Lazy

Ok, I admit it, I'm lazy. So instead of actually making an effort I am just going to post some random comic I've drawn again.